The wonderful couple I am staying with in Pretoria experienced a tragic accident in their family. Their daughter-in-law's parents were on a tandem bicycle and were hit by a car. Her father sustained many painful, but not critical injuries. Her mother, however, sustained a serious head injury. When I arrived only a few days after the accident she had not regained consciousness. I joined my prayers with the prayers of the family. As each day passed, hope shrunk.
Sunday I sat by the pool reading Zephaniah. Zephaniah isn't a book I read often, but that's why I opened to it. I realized it'd been to long. As I read, one verse dug itself into my mind and heart.
Zephaniah 1: 12
At that time I will search Jerusalem with lamps, and I will punish the men who are complacent, those who say in their hearts, "The LORD will not do good, nor will he do ill."
I realized I had been praying fervently, but the moment I said amen the condition of my heart echoed that of the men Zephaniah wrote about. I left it not in the hands of God, but in the hands of nature. My subconscious betrayed my true experience of life and prayer. I bowed my head and asked for forgiveness for my lack of belief in God's active role in His creations' lives. I prayed again until I felt peace through the Spirit. God seemed to say to my heart, "Now watch and see my good work."
The next day at dinner I sat with my host couple chatting. The phone rang. It was their son with the news that his wife's mother had opened her eyes and was slowly gaining consciousness. I smiled as I watched the joy explode in the room. I couldn't help but to chuckle to myself. I love how God uses all type of circumstance even if it's not directly related to me to increase my faith and trust in Him. As I thanked Him in silent prayer He spoke once more to my Spirit, "And if I had told you after your prayer yesterday that I was going to take her ("do ill"), would you still praise me in that situation?" He once again confronted my feeble faith in Him and acceptance of His holiness.
I sat without an answer, but I pray in time He will teach me even this difficult lesson. How far and at what cost are you and I willing to trust him? I pray Christ grows inside my heart to fill it, that I will ever be willing to take the next step, a step where I continue to understand how to shoulder my cross for His glory. When He searches my heart with a lamp I want Him to find Jesus.
Sunday I sat by the pool reading Zephaniah. Zephaniah isn't a book I read often, but that's why I opened to it. I realized it'd been to long. As I read, one verse dug itself into my mind and heart.
Zephaniah 1: 12
At that time I will search Jerusalem with lamps, and I will punish the men who are complacent, those who say in their hearts, "The LORD will not do good, nor will he do ill."
I realized I had been praying fervently, but the moment I said amen the condition of my heart echoed that of the men Zephaniah wrote about. I left it not in the hands of God, but in the hands of nature. My subconscious betrayed my true experience of life and prayer. I bowed my head and asked for forgiveness for my lack of belief in God's active role in His creations' lives. I prayed again until I felt peace through the Spirit. God seemed to say to my heart, "Now watch and see my good work."
The next day at dinner I sat with my host couple chatting. The phone rang. It was their son with the news that his wife's mother had opened her eyes and was slowly gaining consciousness. I smiled as I watched the joy explode in the room. I couldn't help but to chuckle to myself. I love how God uses all type of circumstance even if it's not directly related to me to increase my faith and trust in Him. As I thanked Him in silent prayer He spoke once more to my Spirit, "And if I had told you after your prayer yesterday that I was going to take her ("do ill"), would you still praise me in that situation?" He once again confronted my feeble faith in Him and acceptance of His holiness.
I sat without an answer, but I pray in time He will teach me even this difficult lesson. How far and at what cost are you and I willing to trust him? I pray Christ grows inside my heart to fill it, that I will ever be willing to take the next step, a step where I continue to understand how to shoulder my cross for His glory. When He searches my heart with a lamp I want Him to find Jesus.
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